Where do I begin? Sometimes I am so grateful for this awful event. I’m awful to think like this I know. Before you died I had no idea who my real friends were, or what people in my fam-ily really thought of me. I had no understanding what it was like to receive kindness and love from a stranger. I didn’t know what direction to steer my life. I didn’t appreciate each day, each friend, each hug, each breath or the joy of being loved. I took you for granted. I didn’t say thankyou enough and I never really gave you credit for the impact you had on my life. I didn’t know that I was proud to be your wife, that it meant everything in this world to me. I didn’t know how grateful I was that you were the father of my child. I didn’t realise how many dreams we created together, or how awesome those dreams were. I didn’t know I couldn’t do it all without you. I had no idea who I was.

Today I am grateful to really know the meaning of all of this and so much more. I am grateful for the people I have met on this grief journey. I am forever grateful for the friends I have made. I love that you have taught me what I need to know to live fully, authentically, lovingly and boldly. I realise now that you made me the person I always wanted to be.

In a way you saved my life by taking yours.